How to Make It Through These Times

For many of us, this quarantine has been an adjustment from our regular routine. Jimmy Fallon recently posted a clip from "Tonight Show At Home," where he was trying to do his opening monologue while his children were climbing all over him. I am sure many of us who have kids at home feel the same while we are trying to adjust to doing our work at home. There are many posts about that right now. This one is a bit different.

This post is about the mental struggle of the quarantine, whether it lasts for two weeks or 20 weeks. I believe I can speak with some experience at these times. As someone who has lead youth and young adults on three-day "poverty simulations," led one to three-week trips overseas to under-resourced communities, lived overseas, and was stuck in a seemingly endless process in Haiti where quarantine, illness, and a lack of control were ever-present.

There are some principles that I believe would benefit us right now.

1. You will have a breaking point. Everyone does. Given my experience, I would say it's around the 2/3 mark of the time you have mentally set up. So if it's a three-day poverty simulation, it was usually around 5 pm on the second day. A one week, Monday-Saturday, trip would often have people breaking between Wednesday night and Thursday night. With our current quarantine of two weeks, I am guessing people will have that mental breaking point between today and halfway through next week. Except that may not be the real problem...

2. Adjust your mental mindset. The issue with the breaking points is we usually get over them by saying, "this is temporary" or "at least it'll be over in a few days." With many of us, there is no actual end in sight. It could be two weeks, most likely it will be eight to 12 weeks. Some estimates are 18+ months. Most people will have a mental breaking point, given these estimates. It is best to adjust your mental mindset now that there might not be an end to this. Our current situation is not normal, but it is the new normal for right now. Pivot your expectations on when it will be over. One of my favorite scenes from "Band of Brothers" is where Lt. Spiers is telling a young man how to get over his fear. He says: The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function..." I am not advocating that you resign yourself to death. Far from that. The principle we need to take away from here is acceptance. This is where we are at, now. We cannot "hope" our situation away. But we don't have to sit and do nothing either.

3. Adjust your daily goals and habits. I cannot tell you how important it is to have a routine during these times. Without a method of compounding positive habits, we can begin to become mentally dulled, which will lead to a mental breakdown. The power of positive habits is the principle where the famous speech and now book "Make Your Bed" by Navy Seal, William McRaven, comes into play. I cannot stress the importance of creating positive daily habits which get you moving in the right direction. Making your bed first thing, shower, shave, putting on clean clothes, eating a proper meal, going for a quick walk, etc. Do what you can do within your control of doing them. I would strongly suggest you adjust your essential goals to start with your personal self, then move to your relationships, and finally your professional goals. If you do not have the margin to in your personal and relational life, the quality of your professional output will be short-lived at best.

4. Be thankful. Living with gratitude can be tough at times like these, but it is essential. It is very hard to hold on to anger at the same time you are holding on to gratitude. Make a list if you have to of things you are thankful for. I recently made a list of things I am grateful for, for each year I am alive. A few days ago I went back to that list because I had already forgotten some of the things I was grateful for. One of those things on the list is that I live near one of my favorite cities, Washington, D.C. It is also the peak of Cherry Blossom season here. So my family packed a picnic. Then we went and had dinner and a walk outside while looking at the beauty of nature. A bonus was seeing quotes from Franklin Roosevelt and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., which reminded me that humanity has lived through tough times before. When faced with adversity, we can overcome. Overcoming usually happens through taking personal responsibility, rising to the occasion, and being grateful. Let's not forget FDR led us out of the Depression and through a World War, mostly with a smile on his face, while confined to a wheelchair.

Lastly, I want to reiterate; we are not in a depression. We are not even in tough times, yet. There is no person or country in which to blame our situation. In the Western world, we are not, for the most part living in abject poverty. We have the means to adjust. We are experiencing an inconvenience. However, there is a real concern that the longer this goes on, the harder it will be on our economy, and for our lives personally. It will take a long time to recover. But let us not forget, our forefathers have been here before. It's our time now. It's our responsibility. It is our duty.